According to my brain...

In the solar system the distances between planets is so ginarmous(?) that if you wished to write down the exact approximation of the distance in order to grasp the idea of DISTANCE (that distance being 57 million miles) it would like 91,732,608 kiliometers. That's a great distance, and would indeed require many moons to travel, but I wonder to myself if the universe is built with distance

I just realized, it's so lonely being free.

I think sometimes for someone so inconsistent like myself I can consistently mess up the good things in my life. It's a terrible thought but I can't help realizing how bad I make myself feel. Reading through some books I came across about how to approach "malicious" ideas that might flood your thoughts. One of the the ideas I had was "Does she still love me like I love her?" and I can't tell you how much it plagued my mind; thought after thought about whether I would ever get over it, whether I would ever be okay again, I convinced myself that I had given away my heart one too many times already.
Really though, that was all fluff, until I went down my list did I really understand what that question meant to me. Part 4 in the list of questions to determine your true feelings reads: "and if you didn't have this thought how would you feel?"
Content, I thought.
Then I realized that I can't resent a broken heart because if anything I was privilaged to have gone through that agony.

I just realized, it's so lonely being free.

At the party, the crowds energy brimming; I'm two shots past drunk and blurry is my description of my thoughts. The whole time I'm with my friends all I can think about is how unfulfilling any of it is. It's not that I'm not having fun, it's not that I can't stop thinking about you, it's just that I can but I