So now i'm in school.

eating your beanz!

School has started and I have a lot more time than I imagined. Especially since kicking that old habit, you know what i mean. No longer will I smoke the green herb, I am done for awhile for sure. It was a fun time and it was a great experiment with more plusses than negatives but unfortunately we all have to grow up at some point.

I'm excited for school because...well I haven't been in school for like 3 years. Yeah sure I had been in school, but mentally, I only did what I had too to get by. The fact was that I was going to community college and my high school wouldn't matter because when transferring from a CC nobody looks at your high school stats anymore. So here I am, pushing and striving for the best. Well at least for me.

Last night I read an essay by Russel Baker about his mother and the fragility of the human adult mind. More or less it was an essay about how your parents are as vulnerable as any other human in this world. It's weird and true that for some reason you don't expect your parents to get hurt or sick. Since from the moment we're born they are our protectors, guides, and role models. To a child, mother is god. And there's no truer statement than that. The essay vividly displayed what it was like to have your parent sick in a hospital bed...but what it did was bring into focus my OWN mother. It's true, you don't think your parents bodies will break down, you expect them to fix it and move on. Unforunately sometimes conflicts will occur that are our beyond what you think, which is the case for my mother. After struggling through a heart attack at 38 from stress and working out everyday since then(even though the doctor said she'd survive but she'd never walk or run again) she's been the strongest women i've ever seen. And never have I felt so much respect for someone. Unfortunately time reaches everyone...and it seems that even now it is time for my mom to see some rest. I've come to terms with this, which is why i've ousted my own hobbies and passions in an effort to mature faster. We can't rely on a human forever, because the body fails at an alarming rate.

Unfortunately though, I think i'm late to my math class.

-rod