What are you waiting for Rod?
A specific invitiation? I'm turning grey waiting for you.
Are you waiting for 2012? A certain shade of green?
Paths split at every corner and at every hour. It's what you choose that matters at the end of the day. So my question to you is what? and more importantly when? When do you think Rod, that you'll pick the right path?
-rod
18.7.07
12.7.07
"It doesn't rain everyday does it Eric?"
I focused El Pollo Loco through the viewfinder, made sure everything I wanted was in frame and fired away. One exposure, two exposures, three exposures, and fin. I was done but I figured I'd walk around the front just to make sure, you know in case I forgot an angle or something.
This is where I met Tommy Eric Logan.
Tommy Eric Logan, or Logan as he first introduced himself as. Logan was a homeless person, a drunk, and possibly a schizophrenic. He asked me basic questions, how long had I been doing photography(which I said jokingly "This thing? I just point and shoot man."), if I had seen The Crow, and if I wanted to grab a beer with him. Sure I said. I wasn't sure if I was going to get shanked and robbed or some miraculous event was going to occur, I wanted to stick around anyway.
So we walked towards 7-11 which was a couple yards away, it was nicely snugged into the corner of Harbor and McFadden. I walked in not really knowing what the hell to expect but he did just as he said, walked in and grabbed himself a tallboy of Steel Reserve. We walked around the corner and he began telling me about The Crow, Brandon Lee, and how he was going to kill himself within the next 24 hours.
I sat idly by listening mostly and trying not to piss off the drunk bum with my questions. Eventually after sitting next to him for awhile I asked him if I could take some shots of him while we talked, he agreed and kindly asked me - and this is verbatim - "Would you please get some pictures of me suffering, I want you to capture my raw spirit before I leave this earth.".
I was a little hesitant, mostly because I was supposed to be working but I agreed. I figured if I was a bum and had not one thing to myself all I would want is someone to listen to me before I hung myself or whatever bum thing you do to kill yourself. So we talked for awhile and he told me about music, movies, and life.
He was completely in love with music though. He knew facts, histories, and collaborations of all the artists he listened too...which was all good classic rock stuff. It blew my mind. It was sad though because you could tell when a song changed because his expression would get really stoic, his eyes would focus on one point, and you could tell that gears were moving in his head. Eventually a sniffle would sneak out, and then his eyes would glass over...
---
I always found it interesting to talk to people that have gone through a lot because they usually have a lot of words of wisdom to share and at the least they put your life in perspective. While he talked I noticed that he would hold back his tears constantly, even while he listened to his little old mp3 player he would hold back his tears when a song he liked would play. It was almost a constant struggle for the poor man to even formulate a paragraph without him having to sniffle or tear up. It was horrible.
The experiences and stories he shared blew my mind, but most importantly his broken spirit and his skewed view on life and religion left me overwhelmed. I think the religion part left me amazed. That this "man of god" had fallen so far from the tree, but he wouldn't curse the religion he would instead curse god for putting him on Earth. Constantly he would stare up at the sky and constantly he clench his fists, bite his lip and through the spit and clenched jaw would slither "I hate you for giving me this consciousness."
I took the shots, bought him some double A batteries and left him 4 bucks and told him "peace." because honestly I couldn't handle this guys depression any longer. Call me self absorbed or whatever you want but I work hard every day to be what I want to be, and this guy was just another example of how fragile and precious life is. It could be one thing one minute...and the next it could be hell on earth.
I think some of the shots speak for themselves.
R.I.P. Tommy Eric Logan, or whatever your real name was.
-Rod
This is where I met Tommy Eric Logan.
Tommy Eric Logan, or Logan as he first introduced himself as. Logan was a homeless person, a drunk, and possibly a schizophrenic. He asked me basic questions, how long had I been doing photography(which I said jokingly "This thing? I just point and shoot man."), if I had seen The Crow, and if I wanted to grab a beer with him. Sure I said. I wasn't sure if I was going to get shanked and robbed or some miraculous event was going to occur, I wanted to stick around anyway.
So we walked towards 7-11 which was a couple yards away, it was nicely snugged into the corner of Harbor and McFadden. I walked in not really knowing what the hell to expect but he did just as he said, walked in and grabbed himself a tallboy of Steel Reserve. We walked around the corner and he began telling me about The Crow, Brandon Lee, and how he was going to kill himself within the next 24 hours.
I sat idly by listening mostly and trying not to piss off the drunk bum with my questions. Eventually after sitting next to him for awhile I asked him if I could take some shots of him while we talked, he agreed and kindly asked me - and this is verbatim - "Would you please get some pictures of me suffering, I want you to capture my raw spirit before I leave this earth.".
I was a little hesitant, mostly because I was supposed to be working but I agreed. I figured if I was a bum and had not one thing to myself all I would want is someone to listen to me before I hung myself or whatever bum thing you do to kill yourself. So we talked for awhile and he told me about music, movies, and life.
He was completely in love with music though. He knew facts, histories, and collaborations of all the artists he listened too...which was all good classic rock stuff. It blew my mind. It was sad though because you could tell when a song changed because his expression would get really stoic, his eyes would focus on one point, and you could tell that gears were moving in his head. Eventually a sniffle would sneak out, and then his eyes would glass over...
---
I always found it interesting to talk to people that have gone through a lot because they usually have a lot of words of wisdom to share and at the least they put your life in perspective. While he talked I noticed that he would hold back his tears constantly, even while he listened to his little old mp3 player he would hold back his tears when a song he liked would play. It was almost a constant struggle for the poor man to even formulate a paragraph without him having to sniffle or tear up. It was horrible.
The experiences and stories he shared blew my mind, but most importantly his broken spirit and his skewed view on life and religion left me overwhelmed. I think the religion part left me amazed. That this "man of god" had fallen so far from the tree, but he wouldn't curse the religion he would instead curse god for putting him on Earth. Constantly he would stare up at the sky and constantly he clench his fists, bite his lip and through the spit and clenched jaw would slither "I hate you for giving me this consciousness."
I took the shots, bought him some double A batteries and left him 4 bucks and told him "peace." because honestly I couldn't handle this guys depression any longer. Call me self absorbed or whatever you want but I work hard every day to be what I want to be, and this guy was just another example of how fragile and precious life is. It could be one thing one minute...and the next it could be hell on earth.
I think some of the shots speak for themselves.
R.I.P. Tommy Eric Logan, or whatever your real name was.
-Rod
11.7.07
So yesterday the subject of top ten favorite cd's came about.
I tried to remember my last list...but...let me just fish one out of xanga hold on a minute.
Okay so that was really weird. That was a trip down memory fucking lane...but worse 'cause I was 16 and strange. I'll be the first to admit I was a little awkward in high school. At times I used to be really charismatic and funny. Other times I would be really quiet and wouldn't say a thing to anyone. I think the worst part about high school was how pathetic and lonely I felt all the time. As if I was singled out and everyone knew it.
I remember there being times in class where I wanted to disappear forever. I wanted to run away from my home and hope that wherever I ended up nobody knew who I was. i't s a depressing feeling to have honestly, and it's an even worse way to think for a solid 2 years. Those were the good days though eh rod! Counter-Strike, Battlefield 1942, Half-Life Deathmatch, Doom 3 online! woooo! Getting super stoned and browsing www.offtopic.com while eating a fatty burger.
I don't know what gave me that mentality, and I surely don't remember breaking that way of thinking. I guess just at some point I realized I was worth more than anyone took for granted. I know at some point in college I realized that the way I was and the way I saw myself wasn't the way I wanted to be...and that had to be the first big change going from being what I happened versus being what I wanted. I always think about the big crush I used to have on jules and how I used to not really think I was capable of going into "her league". She's cute, smart, athletic and I was none of the above. Shit changes though when you find you're capable of so much more as long as you put your mind to it. I remember the first thing I wanted was to change the way my body looked, I wanted to blow minds...and not be a weird old person
As long as you put your mind to it.
Anyway...that was a lot different than I expected this post to be. Let me wander back to the topic.
This is what I fished out of my xanga:
My top ten(listen/play-not restricted by genre or bands.)
1. Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah!
2. The Unicorns
3. The Books
4. Minus Story
5. Built To Spill
6. Del The Funkee Homosapien
7. Kid Koala
8. Sonic Youth
9. Pavement
10. Cornelius
That's the most pathetic thing I have ever seen. I hope I die for ever posting that list. Seriously. Clap your hands? fuuuuuuck....the unicorns at 2? wtf? good god.
alright nevermind...I don't know what that shit was here's what I found from like a little over 2 years ago haha.
I tried to remember my last list...but...let me just fish one out of xanga hold on a minute.
Okay so that was really weird. That was a trip down memory fucking lane...but worse 'cause I was 16 and strange. I'll be the first to admit I was a little awkward in high school. At times I used to be really charismatic and funny. Other times I would be really quiet and wouldn't say a thing to anyone. I think the worst part about high school was how pathetic and lonely I felt all the time. As if I was singled out and everyone knew it.
I remember there being times in class where I wanted to disappear forever. I wanted to run away from my home and hope that wherever I ended up nobody knew who I was. i't s a depressing feeling to have honestly, and it's an even worse way to think for a solid 2 years. Those were the good days though eh rod! Counter-Strike, Battlefield 1942, Half-Life Deathmatch, Doom 3 online! woooo! Getting super stoned and browsing www.offtopic.com while eating a fatty burger.
I don't know what gave me that mentality, and I surely don't remember breaking that way of thinking. I guess just at some point I realized I was worth more than anyone took for granted. I know at some point in college I realized that the way I was and the way I saw myself wasn't the way I wanted to be...and that had to be the first big change going from being what I happened versus being what I wanted. I always think about the big crush I used to have on jules and how I used to not really think I was capable of going into "her league". She's cute, smart, athletic and I was none of the above. Shit changes though when you find you're capable of so much more as long as you put your mind to it. I remember the first thing I wanted was to change the way my body looked, I wanted to blow minds...and not be a weird old person
As long as you put your mind to it.
Anyway...that was a lot different than I expected this post to be. Let me wander back to the topic.
This is what I fished out of my xanga:
My top ten(listen/play-not restricted by genre or bands.)
1. Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah!
2. The Unicorns
3. The Books
4. Minus Story
5. Built To Spill
6. Del The Funkee Homosapien
7. Kid Koala
8. Sonic Youth
9. Pavement
10. Cornelius
That's the most pathetic thing I have ever seen. I hope I die for ever posting that list. Seriously. Clap your hands? fuuuuuuck....the unicorns at 2? wtf? good god.
alright nevermind...I don't know what that shit was here's what I found from like a little over 2 years ago haha.
Top 5 Of All Time.
1. Modest Mouse
Favorite Album: :Lonesome Crowded West
2. The Doors
Favorite Album: L.A. Women
3. Radiohead
Favorite Album: O.K. Computer
4. Rage Against The Machine
Favorite Album: Evil Empire
5. Interpol
Favorite Album: Turn On The Bright Lights
5. Pavement
Favorite Album: Slanted And Enchanted
Not bad I guess...Kind of all over the place I think, interpol seems really out of place though. So here's a nice little updated list I am going to think really hard on:
July 20071. Modest Mouse
Album: Lonesome Crowded West
2. Radiohead
Album: Amnesiac/Ok Computer (tough call)
3. Pavement
Album: Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain (luxe and redux)
4. The Doors
Album: The Doors
5. Built To Spill
Album: There's Nothing Wrong With Love
6. MF Doom
Album: Doomilation/Mad Villainy
7. Mad Lib
Album: Quasimoto/Yesterday's New Quintet
8. Miles Davis
Album: Get Up With It
9. The Velvet Underground
Album: Self Titled
10. Broken Social Scene
Album: We forgot It In People
Woo! That does it for my top 10 list. I'm pretty proud of it it's a good list with some really talented stuff, some hip hop...some classic rock...it works!
-rod
10.7.07
Poet
See the storm is broken,
in the middle of the night
Nothing left here for me,
it's washed away.
The rain pushes
the buildings away
The sky turns black.
The sky.
Washed so far
Push it out to sea
There's nothing left here for me
I watch it lift up to the sky
I watch it crush me
And then I die.
Speak to me baby.
Put your lips close to mine.
I can see the wind coming down
Like black night.
So speak to me
like the wind outside.
It's broken up, pushing us...
Hear the rain fall
See the wind outside
and feel the storm being broken outside.
then nothing.
Speak to me baby in the middle of the night,
Speak to me.
Hold your mouth to mine
cause the sky is breaking
it's deeper than love.
I know the way you feel
like the rains outside.
Speak to me.
-Rod
I can teach you what's new
private lessons that'll show you how I knew
a blessin, this life you view
"Why was I Blu?" A big Q
I can be part of you, fight the fears
give it a couple years, a couple more tears
I can judge time by the simplicity of the universe
I can make you feel affinity through a song or discourse
I can make this infinite, just never stop this verse
Yup. Never stop this verse.
Of course
Saw a gleam of light, so bright
she came down from the sky, and not that I lie
So let me just mention
In this other dimension
The mystery shot up with strong words
She was an intelligent wisdom and a song bird
Unlike anything you could have ever heard
I was so mesmerized it was absurd
All I can say to this girl is the good word
"Yo, if you're not busy maybe we can get some lunch?"
"I'd love too." Was the knockout punch
And since then I've had this hunch
You and me, tied by love
everyone else is just in awe,
cause i had never dreamed of
a love,
a love, a love like this.
I can feel the burn, all the hurt
Nothing short of this emotional burst
I can rap and rhyme, a couple of nasty lines
about sippin' nattis and society declines.
I can tell you what goes on in my mind
scare you stupid like that kid with the shine
But time
Well it goes
naturally it'll flow
I can and will always forever
make it my endeavor
to make sure our ties never sever
Yup never sever like this verse.
Like this.
in the middle of the night
Nothing left here for me,
it's washed away.
The rain pushes
the buildings away
The sky turns black.
The sky.
Washed so far
Push it out to sea
There's nothing left here for me
I watch it lift up to the sky
I watch it crush me
And then I die.
Speak to me baby.
Put your lips close to mine.
I can see the wind coming down
Like black night.
So speak to me
like the wind outside.
It's broken up, pushing us...
Hear the rain fall
See the wind outside
and feel the storm being broken outside.
then nothing.
Speak to me baby in the middle of the night,
Speak to me.
Hold your mouth to mine
cause the sky is breaking
it's deeper than love.
I know the way you feel
like the rains outside.
Speak to me.
-Rod
I can teach you what's new
private lessons that'll show you how I knew
a blessin, this life you view
"Why was I Blu?" A big Q
I can be part of you, fight the fears
give it a couple years, a couple more tears
I can judge time by the simplicity of the universe
I can make you feel affinity through a song or discourse
I can make this infinite, just never stop this verse
Yup. Never stop this verse.
Of course
Saw a gleam of light, so bright
she came down from the sky, and not that I lie
So let me just mention
In this other dimension
The mystery shot up with strong words
She was an intelligent wisdom and a song bird
Unlike anything you could have ever heard
I was so mesmerized it was absurd
All I can say to this girl is the good word
"Yo, if you're not busy maybe we can get some lunch?"
"I'd love too." Was the knockout punch
And since then I've had this hunch
You and me, tied by love
everyone else is just in awe,
cause i had never dreamed of
a love,
a love, a love like this.
I can feel the burn, all the hurt
Nothing short of this emotional burst
I can rap and rhyme, a couple of nasty lines
about sippin' nattis and society declines.
I can tell you what goes on in my mind
scare you stupid like that kid with the shine
But time
Well it goes
naturally it'll flow
I can and will always forever
make it my endeavor
to make sure our ties never sever
Yup never sever like this verse.
Like this.
Worker Bee
It's summer, i'm supposed to be relaxing.
I feel so fucking stressed though it bugs me. A little. It's just kind of slowly putting things into perspective about what I should be doing and what I am doing. I think that this summer is going to be my last summer as a free student. I mean free from any real responsibilities, because this time next year I should be on my own and secure...I'm doing more than wishful thinking here.
The unfortunate thing about all of this is that i'm never sure of where I will be.
Most of the time I can't tell you where I'll be in a week.
-rod
I feel so fucking stressed though it bugs me. A little. It's just kind of slowly putting things into perspective about what I should be doing and what I am doing. I think that this summer is going to be my last summer as a free student. I mean free from any real responsibilities, because this time next year I should be on my own and secure...I'm doing more than wishful thinking here.
The unfortunate thing about all of this is that i'm never sure of where I will be.
Most of the time I can't tell you where I'll be in a week.
-rod
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