Things are naturally inclined to grow.

Even the absence of anything, space, is naturally inclined to grow. I climbed in your arms, and you pulled away. The new cavity that you moved into my heart today left me so alone. And the more it seems that I'm there, the more I realized that you weren't. A desert without lizards, an ocean without the moon and sun, I don't see how it could be so lonely out here but it is. I need to know you're listening. I need to know you're out there.

We're all losers

The TV is on, its going from channel two all the way to four hundred and two. I can only observe the talking heads that never provide anything new, they exaggerate and pervert our life instead. They take the essence of our conversations, of our problems, of our ideas and throw them against the wall until they splat into an unrecognizable image. I look at my life and I look at yours, and I wonder if what we're doing is really worth anything. And if it's not, good, at least you can turn on the television and really enjoy something. This only makes me think that maybe we should accept failure, maybe we should accept dismal earnings as long as someone else is enjoying their life.

Maybe my job is to keep them on their horse.

Freedom doesn't have the same ring as it used too. I sit and think and wonder what it is exactly that I'm trying to do with myself. And the truth is that all I want is to be happy. I don't want a million dollars, I don't want a load of cars or tons of woman. Happiness seems to be a rare resource pushed aside by the immediate satisfaction brought from cash. This depression in America doesn't stem from an economy with no stability, it doesn't come from a shortage of consumers or jobs; but from inside each and everyone of the persons hooked on to their vices with no true idea of who they are, but a firm grasp of who everyone else is. What we have is a shortage of dreamers, what we have is a depression of ambitions, so content to enjoy what little we have while we restlessly watch others who have it all. We cry, whine and whimper, but where are the real emotions? Where is the anger? Where is the happiness, the ability to be human to another human?

Bankrupt on emotions, a total foreclosure of humanity.

I know where I am in this world, I just don't understand where this world is. I feel completely and utterly out of place, I have no ambition to integrate with society in Orange County. I don't understand Orange County, let alone its inhabitants. What happened to all the dreams of our early ancestors? What happened to all the culture and pride my people had?

What's going to happen to our future I wonder as I watch life happening elsewhere on this screen. This window to this alien world I have never seen. Money is no object, humanity faces no danger in this world, why do we allow ourselves to be the exception in reality where we have to live in constant fear, struggle, and total lack of rationality?

Freedom just isn't the same anymore. Free from pests and trouble, not free from chains and cages.