Today is tuesday, I said to myself at first light. I'm usually never up this early, but today was a different day. Today the light would shine so bright into my room I would wake up to find myself more aware. Aware of all my surroundings and all the thoughtless things I've done. All the people that have endured my actions.
I just need some more time.
I just need a little more time to figure out who I am. I have found why I am the way I am, I have found out why I believe what I do but I am still not sure who I am.
I am.....
The most important idea in human history. The most astonishing little sentnce and the words that speak louder than life and all its motions. Here I am, Rod sitting on the corner of Fair and Harbor attempting to find the ultimate answer of who am I? I still wonder what divine purpose I might serve, or what belittled existence I might lead. Unfortunately that is the least of my worries, whether I am leading a virtuso life ttat is undoubtly being measured by such low standards, how much money I make and what kind of car I drive. But I ask you this, is it not worth more today anymore to know about who you are?
I think in an effort to find out who I am, and what purpose I shoud lead I keep finding myself mor and more spiritual. Not in the sense that there is a spirit essence in all of us, because that of course is not true, but that we are here for an entirely different reason than the one we are being told. I can't help justify the work week alone. I can't bring myself to understand and believe in this system of giving up my precious limited time on this grand earth to work in some shitty retail store or in some company to help it make profit I will never see. It seems almost outlandish that this system has withstood the test of time.
blah blah blah
-rod
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just be happy. if you ever look back and say "shit I might be out of control" its because you are, if you ever need something to be happy then its your addiction, if you cant control your feelings then fix the problems in your head before you start interfiring with other peoples lifes because you will. you need to learn to love your self in order to find your right path. embrace what you love and be realistic about this world, because you are right about everything you write, but you will need to come down from the clouds, were i once leaved,and be one with what we call life. im not saying to fall into the comfort zone of this society. because you never will, you're too brilliant i've always known that. but meet this mediocre life half way, otherwise time will pass so fast and you wont even feel it and next thing you know all you have left is your anger. i know you have more to share with this sinical world than your rebel ways. since the first time i saw you i knew you were way beyond what i could comprehand, in a cliche way "special". make sure that with every footprint there's left a story that will open someones eyes to something beutiful. breath in deep and close your eyes everything will soon align
love, your sister
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